Wednesday, January 17, 2007

depression is a curious thing

i've had a depression & anxiety order,
well, since i was 7....but didn't get diagnosed
until i was 26. the thing is, i've learned
how to cope most of the time.

but sometimes, life sneaks up on me &
slaps me in the face & i just can't cope.
tonite, i feel that weight of life....not exactly
sure why. i think it's becuz although i had
a FABULOUS day, home with my daughter,
scrappin' 7 layouts....it's all coming to an
abrupt END. tomorrow, i go back to that
oh, so dreaded place. and i just hate it &
that makes me hate life. the worst part of all
is that i can't change it right now. i don't
have support from the one person i
need it from the most....so i'm stuck....no, TRAPPED...
trapped in this never ending saga of
hate, disgust, depression, anxiety, hate,
disgust, depression, anxiety....and so on & so on.

there's no way out, without his support.

i need to get out. i must get out.
well, sorry to let you in on a deep, dark,
& disturbed side of me...but, well, i've never
been one to hold anything back...i lay it all
on the line...and there you have it.

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