hindsight is clear

i've had a pretty rough year.
it's not the first bad year i've had, and
i'm sure it's not the last.
nevertheless,
it's not been one that i'll look back
on fondly.
or should i ?

lately i have found myself crying
out loud to & from work.
crying out
to God asking him WHY????
why can't
i find another job???
i felt like i was
being punished for something, but
wasn't sure what it was.

then, just
when i thought i literally couldn't make
it any further without spiraling into a
deeper depression---
my prayers were
answered.
a job was offered.
i accepted.
now my future is looking much
more positive.

so, why did i have to go
through the long wait,
the rejection,
the anticipation,
the hoping,
the praying,
the insanity?

i think it's becuz after working
the retail job
{which was my job of desperation}
i am SO thrilled
to be going back into the work force.
before??
not so much.
i knew i HAD to
work outside of the home, but i really
dreaded making that transition after being
unemployed for 6 months.
i think that
with the attitude of dread i had,
no job would have made me happy.
none would have been a good fit.
i would have been depressed
all the time & wasted an opportunity
to start re-building a career for myself.

now, after these looooooooong weeks,
i have never been
HAPPIER to find a job!!
an office job.
a new career.
:) :) :)

so, instead of thinking of all the bad things
that have happened this year. i'm choosing
to remember the positive. :)
you know,
i really have had a great year.

i got to travel to chicago
with my husband &
hang out with my friends.
i got my 1st tattoo.
i flew to michigan to hang out with my friends.
i lived to enjoy another year of my kids' lives.

what could be better than this????
life is good.

searching for peace

carla posted another blog challenge...
what brings you peace OR what makes
you feel peaceful???

with 3 kids & 3 dogs & of course, a husband...
"peace" is usually not in my vocabulary or
existence! i really had to ponder this question,
becuz everyone needs some peaceful moments.
so, when do i get mine? well, if you find out,
let ME know!! LOL!! :)

seriously, though, listening to my ipod....staying
up after everyone's gone to bed....scrapping....
silence....browsing through scenery pics....all
these things bring some peace into my life....and
probably help keep me sane. [or at least not
commitable! :)]